“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward you are always in the same place.”— Unknown
“I have learned that when sadness comes to visit me, all I can do is say “I see you.” I spend some time with it, get up, and say goodbye. I don’t push it away. I own it. And because I own it, I let it go.”— Carolina Zacaria (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
(via rachaeldee)
Cognitive Distortions that Add to Anxiety, Worry, and Stress
1. All-or-nothing thinking: Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)
2. Overgeneralization: Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”)
3. The mental filter: Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.
4. Diminishing the positive: Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”)
5. Jumping to conclusions: Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“I can tell she secretly hates me.”) or a fortune teller (“I just know something terrible is going to happen.”)
6. Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen (“The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”)
7. Emotional reasoning: Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”)
8. ‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’: Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rule
9. Labeling: Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)
10. Personalization: Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control (“It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”)
Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm
Tips for Coping with Depression
Depression can often be difficult to fight as it usually drains you of your energy. And though you can’t overcome it by willpower alone, you still have some control, no matter how you feel. The suggestions below can help you with this.
1. Keep doing the activities you previously enjoyed (even if you don’t enjoy them as much when you’re depressed).
2. Try to build some exercise into your day as it releases endorphins – the body’s feel good hormones.
3. Know what your triggers and your risk factors are. For example, loneliness, stress, disappointment and pain are common triggers and risk factors for depression.
4. Stay in touch with your friends. Often those who are depressed start to isolate themselves – but that leads to loneliness - which can make depression worse.
5. Try to maintain some kind of routine, especially when it comes to getting up, and going to bed. Taking naps in the daytime can cause insomnia and leave you feeling drained, so you have no energy.
6. Try to get a handle on how much you ruminate. Take note of your thought patterns; don’t dwell on negatives. Instead, challenge faulty thinking so it’s much less pessimistic … and try to be thankful … and to look for positives.
7. Make sure you do things that make you feel more relaxed. Often people who’re depressed feel uptight and agitated. So it’s important that you find things that can help you to relax.
8. Resist the temptation to self-medicate (especially through alcohol or substance abuse.) That will lead to greater problem, and will make you feel much worse.
9. Seek out support. Talk to a good friend, or someone that you trust. You’ll usually find there’s someone who genuinely cares.
10. Talk to your doctor. It may be medication is the answer for you so don’t be afraid to try to get professional help.
Why you Should Believe in Yourself
1. You matter. Your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, wishes, longings, fears, anxieties – they all matter.
2. There is no-one else like you. You can play a unique role in the world and in other peoples’ lives. The world will be a poorer place without your own very special contribution.
3. You were made to be loved, wanted and treasured. It’s not just a matter of accepting or putting with who you are. You were meant to be valued and cherished by others.
4. You were made to live a full and happy life.
5. You were made to have purpose and to go after your dreams – to feel that you achieve and your life is meaningful.
6. Your life is a gift – it is given as you matter. You’re a beautiful person. Be all that you can be.
